I Refuse to Die Alone
by Slytherin Erudite
Summary: At the dying fire, Clove takes a leap of faith and expresses to Cato her true feelings. She knows in her heart that they won't make it out and such a realization takes a toll.
1. Chapter 1

I walk toward the dwindling fire, my hand clutching the knife strapped to my side. I see Cato sitting there, the fire painting shades of orange and red onto his tough hard face. I sit down next to him and place my hand on his knee. I know what must be going through his head, it had been running through mine as well. We have no chance. Not with Lover Boy and The Girl on Fire still alive. Cato places his hand on mine, I can feel the rough calluses shaping his palm digging into my skin.

I smile, ever so lightly at the fantasy that we could make it out. That we could be victors, together just like Ceaser said. I hesitantly lean over and lay my head onto Cato's shoulder. He stiffens for a moment, as if he's never felt physical contact, and then he slowly relaxes laying his head atop mine.

"I don't know what we're going to do, Clove.." Cato whispers, his voice raw with emotion. I have never heard him speak like this. His faux bravo is missing and all that's left is a teenage boy. I slide my arm through his and hold him tight. He turns toward me and grasps me into a hug. A hug so tight I can hear his racing heart.

"I'm scared," I whisper, my face is buried in his chest. I can feel the tears welling up. I know we won't be making it out. I know then that this is it. The realization hits me like a ton of bricks. I feel a tightness in my chest and my family flashes in my mind. My mom holding onto my father, her dark green eyes soft, a trait that only my sister had: soft eyes. My father's hardened exterior, though his arm is draped over mother so delicately, you'd think she was frail. And my sister. Her always present smile and light brown hair cascading over her shoulders. She had just turned twelve. My breath is knocked from me as I realize I'll never see them again. I'll never feel another one of my mother's hugs or see another one of my sister's smiles. I'm never going to see my family again.

Cato holds me as if I'm all that he has, because really, I am. And he is all I have. My tough resolve slips away and I feel raw, vulnerable. I'm not frightening anymore, I'm not maniacal. I'm human. And I'm terrified.

Tears begin streaming down my face. Sobs wrack my body and I let go of days of anger and terror right there in his arms. "I know. I know," Cato repeats. He calms me down. His hands are shaking ever so slightly. He leans away and looks at me, his cheeks wet as well.

"If we don't make it I-" My voice dies. I don't want to say it. I don't want to admit it. I don't want to accept that we are going to die.

"I love you." Cato grasps my cheeks and brushes away what's left of my sobbing fit. He kisses me lightly, as if I am a butterfly. I take hold of his cheeks and kiss him harder, more desperately. I don't want to let go of this moment. I want to lose myself in him, but I know I'll have to come to reality.

Cato pulls away and looks into my eyes. A small smile spreads across his lips and he holds me to him. I finally accept the fact that this may be the last time I feel the warmth of someone else. I accept my fate. I accept what the capital has delivered us to.

The capital delivered us to our deaths. But I am not going to die alone.


	2. Chapter 2

I pace the dark green tree line keeping my eyes on the cornucopia. Clove crouches behind the tail, her knives all fanned out before her. She looks as if she's picking the sharpest. I smile to myself, in spite of everything, she is still my ruthless warrior.

Out of the corner of my eye I see the Girl on Fire running toward the mouth. My heart jumps to my throat. I know there are only two ways this is going to end. Clove stands up and bounds toward her. The glint of her tiniest most deadly knife falls into place in her palm. I turn away and head back into the forest, I can't stand to watch. Not when Clove is the one in danger.

My heart pounds, my head is fuzzy. I can't think straight and I bend down to breathe. "In, out. In, out. She's going to be fine. She's got this. Clove is the most ferocious person I know, other than myself of course. She'll call if she needs me," I repeat to myself over and over. When I finally calm down and my head clears enough for me to stand, I look to the cornucopia. Something happened. Something is wrong I can feel it. My heart speeds again and I feel the adrenaline rush.

"CATO! CAATTOO!" I hear Clove's terrified voice. The desperation and the panic in her tone chills me to the bone.  
"CLOVE! I'm coming! I'm coming, don't worry!" My feet carry me before I can register what's happening. It feels as if everything is moving in slow motion, and a fog clouds my mind. One word is on my mind: Clove. I'm nearing the cornucopia when I hear the cannon. My heart drops and I fall to my knees. **_No.. Don't let it be Clove, let it be anyone but Clove..._** But I know the truth. The sinking of my heart and the dread I feel overcome my entire body. I fall from my knees and clutch my hands to my heart. I've never felt a pain like this. A sort of stabbing feeling in my chest. My father had always told me I was heartless, so why now was I feeling? Why of all times was I feeling regret and sorrow and agony? It takes all my strength to stand again to find her.

Her body lays at the opening of the cornucopia. Her eyes have pure terror in them and her mouth is still in the form of a scream. I slump to my knees. She looks so perfect and delicate, the same when she left to get the prize at the mouth of the cornucopia. I crawl to her and cradle her head. "Clove... What am I going to do.. Oh Clove," I whisper. Wet, hot, tears fall down my face and onto her. I close her eyes and hug her lifeless body to me. I can't help it and soon the sobbing comes. The only person in the world I ever truly loved is gone. The aching my chest deepens and I hear myself wailing. It feels as if I'm here, but not truly. As if I'm looking at myself from a distance. I look to the tree line and through my blurred vision see Katniss standing there. She stares at me and I know then what I must do.

I must extinguish the flames of The Girl on Fire.


End file.
